Art And Fashion in Bloom

April 30, 2008 By

The Museum of Fine Arts in Boston had its annual “Art in Bloom” exhibit over the past three days. Works of art–from Asian sculptures to European paintings–are interpreted into floral and plant designs that are positioned in front of the particular piece of art. This year they had two clothing ensembles made from plants and flowers as well (not related to specific art pieces) which to my mind, stole the show. They were designed by Andrew Anderson of ILEX, a design studio, in Boston, Ma.

Each year I come and enjoy the whole exhibit even while scratching my head over some of the interpretations. After I stood in front of one this afternoon for a few minutes and simply couldn’t figure out what the floral designer had in mind, I asked the elderly woman standing next to me if she saw the translation of the painting into this floral piece.

She looked at me as If I’d asked if the Mona Lisa was a good portrait. Then, she proceeded to outline five different ways the floral designer had translated the painting very deftly.

Yup. I saw each and every pattern she pointed out. “Thank you,” I said. “I think I’ll stick with you for the rest of the exhibit,” I joked with her. She looked horrified.

I realized that despite coming to this exhibit for years, and art museums all my life, I don’t have a certain way to analyze exhibits nor any particular “aesthetic” sensibility other than, “Wow! I really like that!”

After the “Art in Bloom” exhibit, I went briefly into the other major exhibit that had just opened, El Greco to Velazquez. A few too many religious themes for this girl, but these boys could paint!

I did amuse myself by thinking, when I got to a very famous portrait of some saint wearing a luscious looking green shawl, that had that same woman been standing next to me, I would have turned to her and said, “Now, is that a nice shade of green or what?”

I love art because there is room for all of us saints and sinners.

I have six or seven photos viewable on my Flickr site of some of the art pieces interpreted by over 63 New England garden clubs.

©Pat Coakley 2008

Filed Under: Culture, design, Events, Gardening, Inspiration, Life, nature, Photography Tagged With: , , , , , ,

American Girl Rainbow Fish

April 26, 2008 By

“Pappy, could you help me make some rainbow fish?” My 10 year old grand niece, Bridget, called me in the middle of her school vacation week.

Absolutely. When do you want to do it? Saturday? Ok, I’ll be there. What do I need to bring?

She read me the project ingredients from her “American Girl” magazine.

“This is an “American Girl” project,” I say with squinting eyes. Yes, she said.

I hear the word “American Girl” and then hear Ross Perot’s (remember him, people!) “giant sucking” sound.

Instead this time, the sound is of money coming out of parents’ pockets rather than jobs out of the US going elsewhere. Typical marketing of an American Girl doll: (Oh, excuse me–I meant ways to buy a new friend)– “Ways to buy Addy-Choose how you want to bring Addy home.”

On their website, you can read that “Addy Walker’s story begins as she and her mother are escaping slavery to find Addy’s father and brother, who’ve been sold away.”

There are four ways to bring Addy home: The 90 dollar way gets you Addy and a paperback book. The 95 dollar way gets you Addy and the hardcover book. The 105 dollar way gets you Addy, the Book and Accessories. The 113 dollar way gets you the Doll and the Paperback set. But, don’t forget Addy’s Rope Bed for 48 dollars or Addy’s Ice Cream Freezer for 14 dollars.

I’m just wondering if you are escaping slavery and trying to find your father and brother who’ve been sold, are you making alot of ice cream along the escape route? Just asking.

At any rate, back to my grand niece and her project.

Ok, I say to myself. It’s not a doll. It’s a crafts project I remind myself. Made out of water bottles. How bad could it be?

Plastic soda bottles.

Acrylic paint in squirt bottles

Double-Sided tape

Sequins

Scissors

Tissue Paper

Clear Jewelry Cord

Duct Tape

Sounds doable. Like most crafty sorts, I had some but not all of the ingredients. I go to Mecca: A.C. Moore. I get the rest.

Large squirt bottles of acrylic paint that cost almost 7 dollars each but I’m also doing another project involving acrylics, so I justify the expense. Plus, the colors are just what is ordered for rainbow fish.

I get every pack of sequins on the rack. These are going to be Vegas rainbow fish.

After arriving home, I have the nagging thought that I’d better hear the directions for these American Girl rainbow fish before Saturday.

So, I call and get them. Sure enough, the devil is in the details. You are supposed to wash out the water bottle, dry it, and then squirt the paint in and then let the bottle dry OVERNIGHT. That means it’s not an afternoon project.

If you are a traveling craftsman, rather than a live-in, the project has to be doable in an afternoon.

So, I squirt the acrylic paint into the bottle knowing all the while that this would be the most fun part of the project for her and her siblings.

The directions said: Pick one color of paint and add one small squirt to bottle. Place cap on bottle and shake. Repeat with another color. Remove cap and let dry overnight. Replace cap when dry.

A small squirt shaken like marracas produced minimal coverage. OK. A few more squirts. More marracas, heavy duty marracas, and still not much coverage. What gives? I give a squirt of my 7 dollar tube of acrylic paint that empties the tube and then I shake this bottle as if it were the CEO of American Girl dolls.

You see the result. Today, I go to help her and her brother and sister do the sequins, the tissue paper, the jewelry cord, the duct tape and help hang them in their room. I’ll report back.

But, right now, all I see are two water bottles with two 7 dollar tubes of acrylic paint emptied inside. I have two more clear bottles (there are four kids) and so that will be two more 7 dollar tubes of acrylic paint. Amounting to, if you just count the paint alone, 28 dollars. Hey! I could have bought two Addy Ice Cream Freezers for that.

American Girl can’t do anything, not even craft projects, without a credit card. Come to think of it: that is a very true-to-life American history lesson.

©Pat Coakley 2008

Filed Under: Crafts, Culture, Family, Humor, Humor. Entertainment, Kids, Life Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Zen Wash

April 25, 2008 By


There are times when words fail us and we have to visit another world.  Some go to church; others go to the mountains–I go to the car wash. Click here to view Zen Wash, The Movie

 

©Pat Coakley 2008

Filed Under: 1, Culture, Humor, Humor. Entertainment, Inspiration, Life, Religion, technology, Video Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Booster Seat

April 23, 2008 By

We’ve got laws that require booster seats for children.  How about for the elderly?  

I have lost 2 inches due to osteoporosis–so I’m now 5”6” instead of 5’8”.  Pretty soon I’m going to be driving and the above photo will be my view of the road.

I saw my future today on a country road.   I came up behind a sedan that had its emergency lights flashing but it was still moving, albeit slowly.  It appeared to hug the right hand side of the road but sometimes it floated back to the center.  I could not see a distinct driver’s silhouette behind the wheel.  

At a moment when the car was hugging more of the right than the center, I passed the vehicle and looked in to the driver’s seat.  At first I saw only the cat, draped around the elderly woman’s head. It appeared to be stretching,rear legs on the wheel, head and paws in the woman’s face.  She was staring straight ahead and either was so slumped in the seat or so short, that she was not tall enough to see over the wheel.  

The cat had a better view of the road, facing the back seat window than the elderly woman had facing out through her steering wheel.

Those emergency lights are meant to be used when your car is broken down on the side of the road but now I see their real use: When Puss is driving, switch on emergency lights.  

The inches are already gone.  All I need now is the cat.

© Pat Coakley 2008

Filed Under: Culture, Humor. Entertainment, Life Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Not

April 22, 2008 By

When exactly in the history of the American consumer did the key chain become less about keys and more about barcodes?

I refuse to get one more card. I don’t care if they give me the stuff for free. I’m not doing it.

Sometimes getting the key into or out of the ignition is blocked by the weight of these cards or one will bend into a pretzel shape and pop off and hit me in the eye.

And, what do I get for these cards? I have totally no idea. The eggs that are on special are always cracked so now I buy the eggs that are never discounted. The three for 5 dollar bottles of Cranapple juice I just bought are filled up with enough High Fructose Corn Syrup to bring on Type 2 Diabetes, so they are out.

I could buy two T shirts for 25 dollars instead of 1 for 15 dollars, but that still adds up to 10 more dollars for a T shirt I don’t need.

And, if it’s not about discounts, the barcodes are about access. The YMCA tried to tell me, before they saw the color of my face engorge so rapidly they called an EMT, that if the card stopped scanning because the barcode faded, I’d have to pay for another one.

This may not be on your list of things that you are fed up with but at least this post is NOT about the Pennsylvania primary.

© Pat Coakley 2008

Filed Under: Culture, Humor, Humor. Entertainment, Life Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

The Boston Marathon

April 21, 2008 By

 

Today is Patriot’s Day in Massachusetts, the day of The Boston Marathon.  

The runners began their 26 mile journey about 5 miles up the road in Hopkinton, Mass.  In their honor I took a picture of a bird outside my door, painted some highlights, added a Photoshop filter, then slapped a bib number from a a real participant, Maria Olson, age 44, running with her daughter, Amy, 22, on the bird’s back.  (The whole picture is at the bottom of this post.)

I like the Marathon and I look at it every year from my couch.  I view these people, and there are thousands of them, as people from another planet.  There is simply no way I’m running anywhere for fun.  But, I admire them.  Their personal stories of why they are running inevitably touch a chord that runs through me and I recognize the desire, if not the method, to set a goal and to do it.

The New York Times had an article several weeks ago stating that they have finally scientifically tested a runner’s high.  Dr. Henning Boecker of the University of Bonn, Germany is quoted as saying that the high occurs in the limbic, prefrontal areas of the brain, the same place that is activated when people have romantic love affairs or “when people hear music that gives you a chill of euphoria like Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3.”

So, around 2 PM, I’m downloading from ITUNES the Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 3 and will listen to it while I’m eating my egg salad sandwich with fresh dill, scallions, and a touch of Dijon mustard on rye as the first runners cross the finish line. 

Running 26 miles or arranging a romantic love affair would simply be– too much trouble in the case of the former, and damn near impossible for the latter.  So, I set my goals more realistically these days.  I get my Patriot’s Day Boston Marathon sympathetic “high” with the music method and Photoshop. 

Good Luck, Mama Maria Olson and daughter, Amy!

 

Filed Under: Culture, Food, Humor, Humor. Entertainment, Life, Photography, Sports Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Colony Collapse Disorder

April 19, 2008 By

The Boston Globe has a story this morning that strikes terror in an aging gardener as well as citizen of the planet. I’ve heard it before: the honey bees are disappearing and the bee experts have called it “Colony Collapse Disorder”.

Colony Collapse Disorder. Jeesh. I’m feelin’ it on language alone, people. And, being Irish, and normally affectively catastrophic about rounding blind corners in general, I’m thinking maybe civilization is collapsing one honey bee at a time.

And, currently, politics in the US is certainly not helping. I think we should look under Hillary’s appeal to blue color workers in Pennsylvania or under one of her pant suit legs and search for dead bees. Obama’s suit is hanging from him like a scarecrow, (the only presidential candidate to lose weight I’m guessing) and thereby leaving suspicious folds of material for dead bees to hide. John McCain? I think his economic plan surely has some wheels up bees laying on the pages, don’t you?

The Globe article said that people are stealing bee hives because of the colony collapse disorder and the importance of the honey bee to the food in our supermarkets. Apparently, a recent heist in Natick, a suburb west of Boston, went awry when the bees either stung the culprit or (my spin) the bee burglars heard the loud “boos” from the surrounding flower beds and decided to leave only with expensive bee equipment and no bees.

Stealing bee hives? Really? Civilization, human civilization, has come to this: where someone wakes up one morning, puts a ski mask over his head and says I gotta get the bees.

Could America’s Most Wanted please, please, please try to catch this guy or gal? I fear it is what our future looks like.

©Pat Coakley 2008

PHOTOGRAPHS CANNOT BE USED WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION

Filed Under: Culture, Events, Food, Gardening, Humor, Humor. Entertainment, nature, News, Politics Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thou Shall Not Covet

April 18, 2008 By

 

I may not believe in God, but I remember the commandments.  The one about thou shall not covet your neighbor’s wife was on my mind this morning as I was admiring my little condo garden.

I don’t want my neighbor’s wife, I want his garden.  The photo above is of his spring garden, not mine.  Mind you, I am a photographer.  I tried and tried to photograph my garden in such a way that it might look as nice as this, but it didn’t work.  And, do you know why?  Because it doesn’t look as nice as this.  Period. End of story.  I have flowers alright, but no symmetry of color or design.   I had to rely on close-ups of individual flowers to even take a decent photo.  

So, today, envy is a terrible thing because some things you can covet but will never have.  I love flowers, but don’t have a sense of design.  If there are 44 variety of bulbs available at Home Depot in October on sale, I buy 44 and plant them.  I truly have no idea what the garden is going to look like until spring.  And, trust me, this 44 bulb thing isn’t working out.

But, I do have this one spectacular English Daisy….

If you don’t have the gifts necessary to achieve what you covet, I suggest using the skills you do have: macro photography focuses on individual flowers and NOT design. 

 

Filed Under: design, Gardening, Humor, Jealousy/Envy, Life, nature, Photography, The Single Life Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

The Ghost of David Ortiz

April 17, 2008 By

 

Well, it’s just too good to pass up, people.

The Yankees spent money jackhammering through two feet of concrete to take out David Ortiz’s jersey that a construction worker boasted over the weekend he’d buried in the cement during construction of the new stadium.

Management of the New York Yankees didn’t want to take any chances that the ghost of the Boston Red Sox’s superstar designated hitter was going to come back and haunt them.  They have a “Just Say No To Curses” strategy.

They clearly don’t  watch Oprah.  She’s a billionaire for a reason, Mr. Steinbrenner.  She’d have told you that you should have read page 32 on any self help book she’s showcased in the past twenty years.  As soon as you give power to your fears, they take you over.  P.S.  It’s too late now.

Hey, wait up!  I just saw the ghost of Ortiz running out to left field in your new stadium.

He’s there to stay now that you dug him up.

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Filed Under: baseball, Culture, Events, Life, News, Occult, Photography, Sports Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

The Pope and The Titanic

April 16, 2008 By

The anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic was April 12 and the Pope arrived by an Alitalia chartered jet on April 15. Why do I make a connection between the two?

(Ok, so it’s a picture of The Queen Mary in 1956 and not the Titanic. But, it’s the only ship photo where I own the copyright. Yes, I’m that old. So, just pretend it’s the Titanic, OK?)

An article in the NY Times on Tuesday talked about new evidence supporting an old theory of why the unsinkable ship sank to the bottom.

“Researchers have discovered that the builder of the Titanic struggled for years to obtain enough good rivets and riveters and ultimately settled on faulty materials that doomed the ship, which sank 96 years ago Tuesday.”

It went on to highlight that it was “a deadly mix of low quality rivets and lofty ambition” that sank the ship. It’s a phrase that kept going through my mind on April 15th as I watched news coverage of the Pope’s arrival.

The evidence of the Titanic’s demise also showed that the powers that be knew before, well before, as the ship was being built, in fact, that there was a problem with the quality of the rivets as well as the quality of the riveters being employed.

An archivist has unearthed a paper trail of meetings. The ship had three million rivets holding it together. Those rivets that have been recovered by divers over the years from the vessel itself are forensic evidence and testimony to the poor quality.

This has long been a theory, and after an equally long silence, the company is now denying it outright. Its spokesman said “There was nothing wrong with the materials.”

Stop and wave, people of Boston, if you are connecting the faulty rivets of the Titanic with the defective clergy and bishops of the Catholic church.

I’m waving. I’m old enough to remember the Queen Mary, fifty foot seas, and Cardinal Law in the early nineties, when the sexual abuse scandal was breaking news. He pointed his bejeweled finger at the media and if memory serves, even called down God’s wrath on to them.

All the while he was directing the divine lightning bolts at “The Boston Globe”, he knew full well that he himself had authorized known pedophile priests to move to other parishes to continue to abuse children. There was this small matter of a paper trail that ultimately was unearthed and that led to his resignation from the Archdiocese of Boston.

The current Pope spoke in English on his Pope Jet to reporters who had been allowed to submit questions for review in writing. He is quoted as saying that he was “deeply ashamed” of the sexual abuse scandal.

So, I read the Pope’s remarks as I do those from the shipbuilding firm of the Titanic, Harland and Wolff, in Belfast, Ireland. They regret deeply, I’m sure, the loss of 1500 lives long ago on a moonlit night in icy waters, “but there was nothing wrong with the materials.”

The Pope is deeply ashamed. I believe him. And, I believe that he should be ashamed about a few more things. Namely, that he and church hierarchy still don’t get it. Cardinal Law fled Boston on a flight to Rome to the open arms of the Vatican and a papal apartment to hang his soggy ol’ red hat. He’s still there.

Two billion dollars paid out to sexual abuse victims proves that these spiritual leaders can acknowledge legal jeopardy with the laws of man, but still no acknowledgement of the true moral jeopardy within.

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Filed Under: Catholic, Culture, Family, God, Life, Photography, Religion Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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