Gifts We Really Need As Opposed To Those We Don’t Like an IPAD

I had the Apple salesperson take my photo with the IPAD.  I then emailed it to my great nieces and nephews.  “Here I am just lookin’, not buyin’.”

The 8 year-old said with wisdom, “This does not surprise me that Pappy is in that Apple store!”

The 10 year old, named after my late brother, is coming to visit tomorrow to spend the night and to read the new book in his favorite series, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid”.  I bought the book on the day it was released, November 9th, and I’ve just made up his bed, put the stuffed animals all around, and stood the book up next to the new Dog Pillow Pet.  He’ll be thrilled.

I’m thrilled he still wants to come visit.  He’s worried that I’m getting rid of cable.  I told him we’d watch Netflix movies on my laptop.  I just put up an easel with nice paper.  Maybe he’ll paint me something.  He’s good at drawing.  I stink at it.  But, this is a read weekend: He’s going to read his book and I’ll read mine.(“Freedom”, Jonathan Franzen)  We’ll make heath bar crunch cookies.  I’ll say it’s for him that I’m making them.  Bacon Pizza.  The boy never met a piece of bacon that didn’t call him by name.

We’ll go to see “Megaminds” on Sunday and then end at a restaurant that has delicious fried haddock.  Haddock is his favorite.

His mother said he was really looking forward to coming.

Honestly?

Isn’t this a far better gift than an Ipad?

Yes, of course, it is.

But, if he arrived at my door, say… suitcase in hand, smile on his face… with an Ipad for Pappy in his other hand?

Snap out of it, Pappy. Snap. Out. Of. It.

You have everything you need when the doorbell rings.

©Pat Coakley 2010

PHOTOGRAPHS CANNOT BE USED WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION

**Select photographs from this blog and my wider archive

Spud Physics

Thank you Anna and Bernhard Blume for this 1986 parody of housewives who have been in the kitchen too long, domesticity run amok, with potatoes of their own volition (that’s what the placard next to it said) flying all about.

It’s part of an exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC that I recently enjoyed to the utter max.

And, it prepared me for today, Election Day 2010.

I just returned from casting my vote.

Proudly.

Every democrat on the ballot got my vote. I don’t care if he or she was a felon and shouldn’t have been on the ballot in the first place, I’d have voted for the bastard.

Potatoes are flying of their own volition today.  The rules of gravity and common sense simply don’t apply.  Something other than reason is operating and I’m calling it Spud Physics.

I’m secretly hoping several of those flying spuds hit those drones of the airwaves tonight as they begin their “analysis”.  Watch for the scroll on the bottom of your TV screen:

BREAKING NEWS!!!! ****”Flying Spuds Attack Glen Beck’s Tear Ducts”*****Breaking News!!!!Flying Spuds Land on John Boehner’s Nose*******Breaking News!!!!Flying Spuds give Anne What’s Her Name a haircut and a plaid dress******

 

©Pat Coakley 2010

Select photographs from this blog and my wider archive can be purchased or licensed at www.patcoakley.com